Posting failures

“Man, I’ve seen your posts on Instagram, looks like things are going really well dude!”

Don’t get me wrong, that is the truth, there are reasons for joy all around me, but this comment gave me pause – first of all it made me self-conscious of how much I post online and after I got over that slight embarrassment – I looked back over my social media posts from the past few years.

I found a lot of Anita, a lot of running, a lot of traveling, a lot of family and friends, a lot of asking people to read my blog.

These are all positive things.

One could call them examples of success (I don’t define them as such and struggle with the word, but for the sake of the point)


Consciously or unconsciously, I post the best things about my life.


After looking over various posts from my friends and seeing what gets the most likes, my rough analysis is this:

We like happy.

We like accomplishment.

We like exotic.

We like celebration.

And we should.

Passing the Bar, getting married, buying your first home, babies –  on the internet, they get a lot of likes and a lot of love.

And they should.

With that being said, we should also know that there’s so much more to the story. To use the cliche, unapologetically, thousands of words to each picture.

IMG_0110 (1)

If you ever want to know where the failures in my life live, all you need to do is look at what doesn’t get posted or what’s been deleted.


A failed marriage.

Jobs I applied to, only to be rejected.

And the list goes on.

With love and support, with time and with maturity, I’ve been able to come to terms with my failings.

They have taught me to cherish what I have now, but you wouldn’t know that unless I told you.

Unless I showed you.

I think this is true for all of us.

There’s so much behind each picture. A past, often one filled with equal parts success and failure. Highs and lows.

So what’s the lesson?

I’ve learned that even if you can’t see many of my failures on my social media – that doesn’t mean those things didn’t happen.

Owning and learning from all parts of the journey that led me to here, and fighting like hell to protect what is important – that’s how to post failures for all to see.

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